And look at me now. I’m a talented and certified yoga instructor. And... Wait for it... I’m going to be cooking at an organic farm in Colorado this summer. So while I’m still not fashionable (everybody noticed that this eventually morphed into a tongue and cheek blog about being unfashionable right?), there still might be hope for me someday.
But don’t expect that day to come anytime soon. I’ll be on the western slope in Colorado experiencing a slice of life that I’ve never thought I would be able to experience. I’m a whole food enthusiast. I’m into things being organic. I dig local foods, and support them no matter where I am. But a farm girl? Well, I’ve never considered myself one of those before. This blog is going to get reeeeally interesting over the next few months as I encounter farm fashion. So stay tuned for an ode to overalls and a sonnet for cut-off jeans. I can’t wait to take this blog to the farm.
Do you know anything about farm fashion?  What? Another post about yoga fashion? Yeah guys. That’s just what I’m into right now... deal. I’m a yoga teacher now, so things are going to get unfashionable in a decidedly stretchier way. Did you miss the first part of that sentence? If so, I’m a friggin’ yoga teacher now! I know, right? Now I’m a writer for a fantastic vegan recipe blog, I live in Denver, I have a dog and a scooter, and I’m a yoga teacher. That’s all pretty cool, if you ask me. It’s pretty cool, even if you don’t ask me. It’s independently cool, and questions have no bearing on it’s coolness factor.
Now that I’m a yoga teacher, and I have a big fancy mat, and a bunch of lovely new yoga friends to visit, I have the need for a lovely new yoga bag. I picked this one up before I headed off to yoga school and it was extremely reminiscent of getting a new book bag before going back to school in third grade. I was pretty whiny about finding the perfect one back then and I wanted it to be reeeeally pretty. This time was almost exactly the same, but I opted for something with a little less glitter and fewer depictions of Disney princesses. It’s reeeeally pretty nonetheless.
This bag is from Prana and it’s probably the most stylish yoga accessory I’ve ever purchased. It’s big enough to fit my oversized eighty five inch Manduka Black Mat Pro and some yoga clothes. You might be able to squeeze in a strap if you’re a crafty packrat or you’re good at shoving things into small spaces. It’s got a great little pocket that you’ll forget exists (I lost my cash and Debit card for several days before re-discovering said pocket). And... well, there’s not much else to say. It’s a yoga mat bag.
I seriously want to wear it everywhere and use it as a purse with a yoga mat in it. Alas, that Black Mat is craaazy heavy and when there’s no mat, it looks sad and deflated. So I’ll just try to enjoy the few minutes I get to rock this bag on the way to and from my yoga classes... which I will be teaching... So cool. I’m also working on teaching in an elementary and high school nearby. Not because I’m a good person, just because I want an excuse to carry this thing around.
What’s your favorite yoga accessory?
Let’s face the facts ya’ll. First days are scary. It doesn’t matter if you’re being shipped off to the first grade, if you’re sauntering into probation officer training, or if you’re headed to your first day of yoga teacher training. Fear of the unknown always seems to rear it’s ugly head. On the days proceeding my first day of Forrest Yoga teacher training, I was pretty terrified. I was worried that I wasn’t strong enough or flexible enough. I feared that my injuries would keep me from learning everything I needed to know. I didn’t know what the people would be like or if I would connect with any of them. What if they all hated vegan recipe blogs and puppies? What would we talk about?
As ridiculous as this sounds now, I was even afraid that they would all think I was some scum bag because I didn’t have a bunch of yoga gear with the Lulumon or Lucy logo printed on the back. So when I planned out my first day of clothing, I had my favorite yoga outfit picked out. It was featured on this very blog a few months back. I’m sure you remember, because everything I post on this blog should occupy a space in your mind. In case you’re new to The Unfashionable Undergrad, I’m talking about my fancy and funky American Apparel yoga ensemble. It’s pretty cute and I was totally comfortable making a first impression in it.
But just two days before yoga school started, I read somewhere in the class information that we were supposed to wear all white on the first day to symbolize a new beginning. At that moment, I turned into a complete yogi-zilla. I didn’t bring anything white that my butt cheeks wouldn’t be flying out of after one downward facing dog. I felt so unprepared and demanded that I be taken to the closest all white clothing store... And stat!
Alll I will ever be able to think of when I put on this outfit is spending an entire day scouring both Boulder and Denver for something cute and white. I’ll always think about walking out of the fitting rooms at Old Navy, whining and telling my friends that there was a big difference between off-white and white, and that this friggin’ shirt was most definitely not. white.
In hindsight, none of this should have been a big deal. My first day and every subsequent day of teacher training have been challenging, but amazing. Everyone at the training is lovely, and they wouldn’t have looked the other way if they got an eye full of my rear end on the first day.
Want to hear the real kicker? I walked in to that yoga studio on the first day and was the only one wearing white... Yeah.
Anywho, have you ever flipped out about a first day or first day outfit, only to realize that you were just being a freakazoid? 
I’m in Denver right now and if anyone knows about bucking the contemporary fashion industry, it’s Denver-ites. I'm not on a study abroad trip to Paris or anything. High fashion means something completely different in a state with super lax medical marijuana laws that has the most fit population in the United States. Denver’s fashion m.o. is super outdoorsy, functional and hippie-ish. It’s a city filled with hemp gauchos, ponchos, fair trade knitted scarves, beaded jewelry, chakra themed graphic t-shirts, and North Face galore. People wear ski goggles in the street (sounds like a joke, but it’s not). If you could wear it on a mountain at any time from the 1800’s to the 2000’s, it’s still considered front-range-worthy (sounds like a bad joke, and it is).
That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but there is something about Denver fashion that makes me feel like I fit right in. Everyone looks so cozy. The people who don’t look cozy, look like they’ve just set a world record in doing something in the outdoors that you never knew existed. They all look like they’re either going to curl up in front of a fireplace, or hike a crazy expedition to the top of a fourteener (whatever that is).
That might be a long explanation about Denver fashion that sounds like it has nothing to do with the scarf in that picture. Well if it sounds like it has nothing to do with it, and it looks like it has nothing to do with it, it probably has nothing to do with it. So how am I going to connect those two things? Well, I’m in Denver! Woot. Woot.
I may have already mentioned this a billion times, but I’m doing my Forrest Yoga teacher training in Denver this month. When I left, I packed everything I had into a backpacking pack, a regular backpack and a large bag. Needless to say, after a week of being here, I thought my wardrobe could use a little sprucing.
When I found this little number in Urban Outfitters, I asked a friend of mine if he dug it. He said, and I quoteth, “That’s a lot of fabric for ten dollars.” I was sold. I’m sure I could have gone to Joanne fabrics and picked up 10 times as much fabric, but I’m really happy with this purchase. And like everything else I strapped to my back last week, I’m going to be wearing it allll the time.
So, join me in the coming weeks as this blog gets a little Denver-ier in it’s unfashionable glory.
What do you think about Denver fashion and/or my scarf?
Hey there unfashionistas! You've joined me on a very exciting week. I'm heading off to Denver to do yoga teacher training and I cannot. shut. up. about it. I'm sure people who talk to me and/or read my blogs, wish that I could. Alas, I'm just too jazzed.
It's really all I can think about. It's certainly all I can dream about. It's pretty much all I can talk about. You could be talking about how your dog eats it's own poop, and I'm sure I could find a way to bring it up. Downward facing dog is good for your digestive system. See! I did it! I'm not even sure that it's true. At any rate, it's a little gross. Let's just move on.
So, my goal is to live the rest of my life in soft, comfy, colorful clothes and stretchy pants. And in order to reach that goal, I thought long and hard about professions that would allow me to forgo all other types of clothes. I could have been a nurse, but I'm not into yucky things and/or needles. I could be a freelance writer forever, but I'd like it if I never had to deal with a hunchback and if my a** didn't turn into a lumpy orb. I could star in the Real Housewives of Somewhere and be the b*tch that wears velour track suits every day. Unfortunately, I'm not real or a housewife. Since I’m technically living “home free”, I don't even have a home to sit around in to feel unjustifiably important all day long.
Real Housewives of Homeless would probably be an amazing show, but then I'd have to settle down and marry Hobo Bill and I'm just not sure he can give me what I need. He has a really roomy shopping cart from Costco and the best selection of plastic bags in town, but is that what my life has come to? Am I really going to marry someone for their possessions?
No, I'll just become a yoga instructor. I'm going to spend the next year completing my certification and I'm crazy excited about it. I'm also crazy excited about this yoga dress. It's got a lot going for it. I can do yoga in it. I can wear it while I'm kickin' it. It's cozy, comfy and, cute, if I do say so myself. Picture me wearing this almost every day and doing yoga for an entire month. I might be "that kid who wears the same thing every day" in class, but I'm pretty used to being "that kid”. So, c'est la vie.
Wish me luck on my new yoga journey!
What's your favorite yoga dress? 
I don’t know what it is, but for some reason, I’ve always been intimidated by the fishtail braid. I always thought they were really complicated, and not to be messed with unless you happened to have a couple of extra arms laying around. Perhaps I tried to do it when I was eight and it didn’t work. Maybe from that moment on, I just thought they were impossible, a secret guarded by an FBI agent and Pippi Longstocking.
Not so! Turns out, they only require two arms and fishtail braids are easier than that regular ole three strand braid. Well, maybe not easier, but still quite elementary, my dear Watson-ettes. It’s going to be spring in no time flat, and that means it’s definitely time to get your braid on. Why not spruce it up with a grade school throwback? This time, why not make it messy? Muss it up. Who cares what mom thinks? You don’t need her help. You can do it all by yourself.
If you already know how to do a fishtail braid, go ahead and skip the tutorial and head straight to the mirror and start twisting strands. Otherwise, check out this video made by Lauren Conrad, where she’ll show you how to turn your hair into a Little Mermaid inspired coif. She’ll also impart genius advice on you. She’ll tell you not to over think the fishtail, which is, obviously, genius advice.
Have you rocked a fishtail braid lately? Was it your first time too?
 You know when you get those wardrobe staples, and you swear to yourself that you’re not going to wear them all of the time, because you don’t want to wear them out, and you don’t want people thinking “man, she wears that ____ all of the friggin’ time”? And then, a few weeks pass and you realize that you’ve worn that specific item pretty much every time you’ve left your house.
That’s what happened with this cute little sweater jacket number that I got from REI. I was really on the fence about even buying it. It was on sale, but I was pretty sure that I didn’t need it. I mean, it’s the dead of winter and it’s like a sweater jacket. What would I do with that? But it was so soft and so white. It had such a ridiculously high collar. It looked so outdoorsy. Nay, it looked so ski bunny-ish. I’ve never been much of a skier. Well, that’s an understatement. I actively avoid the sport like the plague.
The first and only time I attempted the sport, I knocked my best friend off the lift with my ski. We were only a few feet off the ground, but the whole ordeal made me realize what a lethal weapon I become when you strap two long planks of wood to my feet and throw me on a mountain top. I found the whole thing so unpleasant that I ended up doing my French homework and posting vegan recipes to my blog in the lodge. Now that was fun!
The though of skiing gives me night terrors that involve me and Sonny Bono holding hands and hitting the slopes. But I’ve always liked the look: the rosy cheeks, the bright colors, the cozy attire.
And the love of that look led to the purchase of this sweater jacket, which I struggle to take off every time I get home. Darn you cozy ski wear!
Do you have any garments that you have a hard time leaving in the closet?
 Do you guys remember that new haircut video? You know, the super old one (we’re talking older than Jersey Shore here) where the guy talks about his new haircut and skanks and stuff. If you don’t remember, you should probably check it out, before you continue reading this post because these two things are completely related.
As a matter of fact, you should probably take a couple of Jager bombs, Jager bombs, Jager bombs, and then read the rest of this post.
Good, now that you’ve watched an old internet classic and you’re filled to the brim with a mixture of German Liquor and energy drink, it’s time to tell you that there was really no reason for you to do either of those things.
Just like there was probably no reason for me to cut and dye my own hair on a whim last night. I’ve learned this lesson time and time again, but it never seems to stick with me. A couple of times a year, I get the feeling that I look a little drab. I impulsively head to the closest grocery store to grab a box of hair dye in some shade of red and head back home, eager to get my dye on.
I skip the directions (I know what’s up already), mix it up, and slather it on. Then I leave it on for too long because I’m watching my favorite old internet videos and drinking Jager bombs. After I rinse it out, I freak out about what color it is. I lament how unnatural it looks for an hour or so. Just as I start thinking that it’s not that bad, I realize that I haven’t had a haircut in a long time.
Never leave me alone with a pair of scissors. I’ll convince myself that hair is just hair, and hair is meant to be experimented with. I will then take the dullest of kitchen utensils to my fro faster than you can say Edward Scissorhands.
And... well... I’m awesome at it. Check it out:
I guess it’s time to make the necessary appointments to get this mess fixed. Will I ever learn? Do you think there are any scholarships for women who cut their own hair?
Do you ever cut your hair in secret like a ten year old? In our effort to scare off all men entirely this month, we’re packing them on (hand over the coffee cake grandma) and we’re packing it all in. Enter: the wearable sleeping bag. Sure, you could call it a T-length down coat, if you’re into speaking in that manner, but let’s face facts.
Fact: I look like a stuffed grape leaf in this number (only slightly less Mediterranean). Fact: this thing is as sexy as a sleeping bag and a snuggie combined. Fact: it’s pretty darn close to that combination exactly. Fact: if I were in the fashion design industry, I would probably turn this ole caterpillar coat backwards and say that it’s a new version of the snuggie for hockey games and riding in a one horse open sleigh.  Look at that. My first day as a fashion merchandiser and I’ve already cracked both the hockey mom and 19th century demographics. Someone call project runway and tell Tim Gun that his career is over.  Anywho, this coat is a great man repeller. Worn outdoors, it turns into urban camouflage. If you see a man looking your way, just stop whatever you’re doing and lean up against the nearest stoop. This coat is like an instant homeless chick disguise. It allows you to blend into hobo surroundings like you fit right in. Beware, this could get you into trouble.  Were you to wander into the middle of a hobo brawl/knife fight, you would be indistinguishable and it’s possible that you would find yourself shanked before you can say “I just didn’t want to get laid.” Worn indoors, this coat will make you sweat more than Mitt Romney at a gay pride parade. Zing! No seriously, that guy’s a serious homophobe. At any rate, this coat makes you HOT and not in that coy Zooey Deschanel kind of way, like in the sweaty creepy chick in middle school kind of way. After I wrote that sentence, I forgot why I was telling you how to dress like the sweaty creepy chick in middle school. Then I remembered... Man Repelling. I know you all take my advice really seriously, so I’m going to give you a great piece of advice. Don’t do anything I’m saying right now. If I forgot that I was joking, you might too. Disclaimer: the advice given here could turn you into a social pariah. It is for self-deprecation and satirical purposes only. I wouldn’t wish my man repelling wardrobe on anyone. But this coat is warm as hell and cozy as sin, and no, it won’t get me laid. It will get me warmly to the coffee shop where I write posts for my vegan recipe blog. Plus, I got it on sale at target for $35 bucks... Missions accomplished.  As part of our man repelling series this month, I’d like to show you a pair of boots that I purchased yesterday from REI. I’m really on the fence about these suckers. Now, I’ll preface this with the notion that I’m not sure whether or not I’ll be keeping them. So I’d love to hear your honest opinion about them. I won’t be offended if you call them something like “lesbian moon boots from hell” or “the uggliest snow trampers on the face of the planet.” My feelings wont be hurt.
I’d also like to say that as much as you’d think these babies would ward off the menfolk, it’s been crazy how many times I’ve been given “the eye”. Ewwwwww, perv. Not that eye. Like, the look-down. Okay, it’s obvious that I have a real grasp on being clear with the English language this afternoon. What I mean to say is that I’ve still been hit on wearing these suckers. Isn’t that crazy. Man, men really do want to bone anything that moves, don’t they?
Anywho, I got these boots. I know what you're thinking, "Corinne. You're going to have to stop being so friggin' fashionable. It's making the rest of us look bad." I know. I'll really try to turn down my style factor in the future.
But what's done is done, and these glorious man boots are all mine. Say what you will about their appearance (go ahead and call them sexy), I can run through the sloshy, cold, snowy, puddle filled streets of Chicago with ease in theses babies. Can you do that in your high heeled suede boots? No? That's what I thought.
So these probably won't work for you if you live a business casual type of existence (rocking these boots probably isn't in the administrative assistant job description), but they're awesome for rugged, sexy, college hippie chicks.
What do you think about my new boots? Hawt, right?
 I don’t know about you folks, but I have been trying pretty actively to keep the menfolk off these past few weeks. So this month, I’m going to be talking about things that you can wear to keep men from thinking you’re a sexy beast. That’s right, I’m here to help you tip the scales in the favor of beast. With my help, you’ll be knocking the word sexy right out of their vocabulary with a strategically placed sports bra and some funky stretchy pants. I remember writing the post for this blog when I was in the beginning of a tough break up. I donned a black maxi dress that signified mourning, but was sexy enough to say farewell in.
I’ll be completely honest with you. I’m completely over the whole mourning process, and I’m on a dating website to meet new peoople, and I flirt mercilessly, but I’m really not ready for anything sexy. At all. And I’ve found that since I’ve been single, most dudes want a piece of this. I’m sure this sounds egotistical, but you have to understand that I’ve been a serial monogomist ever since I was a big girl (as in overweight). I fell into a relationship almost as soon as I got out of an old one, so I’ve never done this whole single and dating thing. Now, I’m in pretty good shape and I’m a writer which is apparently a sexy-sounding gig. I guess most men have never seen a writer at work. Don’t people watch 30 Rock?
You all know that I’m a fan of The Man Repeller. I love the concept, but I don’t have a $600 bow tie budget to keep the men at bay. So I’m going to have to make due with some things that I already own/can do for free. Anywho, that’s what we’re going to do for at least the remainder of January. If I’m feeling it, it might take us into February. And if it’s really rocking my socks off, that might be what this blog is about from here on out. Okay, I probably don’t know enough about dressing in an unsexy manor to fill a weekly blog with it... or do I?  So, I could use this post to talk about the super awesome, overpriced and impulsive yoga outfit I ended up splurging on for New Years Eve Yoga. But, I’m not going to do that. I mean, you don’t want to hear about overpriced gym shorts, do you? Of course you do. You’re fashion lovers. I should probably tell you that the shorts were $369. That way, you’ll swoon and call me a fashion god and I’ll be chillin’ next to the Man Repeller picking out pastel overalls in no time flat. Well, I have to admit that they weren’t $369 and they weren’t really that overpriced considering that they were made in the USA! That’s right, I got these sweet workout/hangout digs from American Apparel. I can’t remember the last time I bought an item of clothing that was made in this nation. And it never would have happened if it weren’t for you guys (it’s a stretch, but so are my pants).
After I wrote that post about getting some cute yoga gear, I started having second thoughts. I mean, I have enough stretchy pants to last me a lifetime, I have tank tops coming out the yinyang. So I packed up my cutest yoga digs and headed up to Chicago. I had a lovely day, wandering around that fantastic city, exploring to my little heart’s content. At about 4:30 p.m. decided that I had my fill of wearing real pants, ones that required a belt (yech!). I started digging around in my bag to find my yoga wear so I could make the ole switcheroo. And what did I find? A ton of stuff I didn’t need. Turtlenecks, thermals, some jeans... And while you can be rest assured that all of those things were super fashionable, they obviously weren’t what I needed. I should probably just go ahead and invest in that “DON’TFORGETTHESTRETCHYPANTS” face tattoo I’ve been meaning to get. I’m just so torn between Old English or Comic Sans that I can’t commit.
 I did what any tightwad would do and I ran straight to a CVS to see if they had some cheap tights. It was a no go. I got to thinking that maybe this was my subconscious telling me that I did need some new yoga stuff to kick off my new year. Either that, or it was the ghost of new years past rearing its head saying, “Oooooh. I’m a ghooost. It’s neeeeew yeeears eeeve. Goooo buuy sooomething spaaarkly.”
So I headed down to Wicker Park and started roaming in and out of stores looking for some cute yoga clothes. I finally wandered into American Apparel and checked the clock. I had less than an hour to pick out some stretchy pants and head over to the Ukrainian Village. While I finish this epic tale of stretch-pants-ery, et’s keep in mind that it’s New Years Eve and that the Chicago streets are already filled with wobbly, high heeled ladies and stumbling dudes in button ups. 
So I put together this lovely yoga outfit. I was really feeling this green and I’ve been digging the shorts over stretchy pants/tights thing that’s been taking off. I didn’t have much time to think as a checked out and raced down the street. I contemplated taking my pants off before I got in the car, but thankfully decided that it would be too dangerous to put tights on while driving and I didn’t want to roll up to the studio without any pants on.
I weaved in and out of the people who were dressed up and spray tanned like they all collectively decided to turn NYE into Halloween and go as the cast of Jersey Shore. I hurdled around the cabs who were having their big money night and were taking the opportunity to drive like Keanu in Speed (Woot! Woot! Outdated 90’s action movie reference!).
And I made it!
What do you think of my new digs? Do you have an amazing yoga outfit to share?
Pfffft. New Years Eve, a.k.a. NYE, a.k.a. the eve of gettin’ really drunk and trying not to throw up on a complete stranger after a magical new years eve kiss that neither of you will ever remember. New Years Day is a day for waking up with one shoe missing (perhaps your dignity took it when it packed up and got out of dodge). There’s nothing new in that sentence for me. S’matter of fact, that’s kinda old news for this girl.
So, what are my New Years Eve plans, you ask? Well, I’m glad you did. Because I’m pretty sure I’m going to spend my NYE in a yoga studio filled with strangers gonging in 2012 instead of beer-bonging in 2012 (see what I did there?). As much as I’m looking forward to remembering this ceremonial shift in time for once, I’m kinda bummed that I didn’t get to shop for something really sparkly and ridiculous to wear to ring in the new year. It’s one of those holidays that calls for being over the top, and it’s one of my favorites to get ready for. For some reason, I only really feel comfortable getting all sexified on New Years Eve. I’m not really a slutty Halloween costume kind of girl and I wore jorts to Christmas this year. It may be my only chance to be sexy in 2011.
Thank goodness for this girl, yoga clothes can be sexy. I went on the look out for colorful and sexy yoga digs and these are the things I found: Ooooh... Colorful! This tank from Athleta is cute, but $49 for a workout tank? Yeesh!
These pants are tight! Plus, they show that you know a thing or two about balancing your Chakras. And you know what they say about girls with balanced Chakras, right? Wink, wink. Nudge... Yep. That's right. Girls with open Chakras are balanced individuals with an connection to the source of life. Yeeeeah! Sexay!
There's nothing sexier than looking like you have no feet. Dudes love feetless chicks. No, the person who's wearing these "sensual string pants" must be tiny. They have a 30" inseam, so they'd probably be too short on me. But they are suuuuper cute in all of their coral-ness.
I've been told by my besties that I'm the only person in the world who thinks crop tops are sexy. Whatevs. This one has pictures of Victorian ladies doing yoga. Free spirits in corsets... There's nothing that screams "I'm sexually repressed!" like a crop top with Victorian women on it.  | Flannel! | Dec 26, '11 6:25 PM
for everyone |
*Insert picture of flannel!
Looks like despite all of my wishing, hoping, dreaming, trying, wishing, praying (am I starting to repeat myself?), it looks like I’ll be spending my winter braving the cold. I tried escaping to the equator. I thought about moving to Australia or Thailand. I panned a vagabondish backpacking trip through Central America.... et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Obviously, fate had something different in mind. I’m going to be attending the most prestigious comedy school on the planet this winter. That’s right, I’m going to the Harvard of clown schools, The Second City. And I’ll be walking the same halls that Dan Akroyd, Bill Murray, Tina Fey and other funny people that I can’t remember right now, walked down. Luckily for me, I’ll be doing that during the coldest mother effing time of the year.
I’m not sure how you’re evaluating my decision making skills at this moment, but I hold to the idea that they’re pretty cruddy. The only thing I’m proud of is that this decision has nothing to do with a man. Booyah! I should teach feminist decision making 101!
Lesson one: Quit shaving everything. Lesson two: Talk about how “The Awakening” changed your life and the course of history. Make sure you let other people know how women probably wouldn’t be able to talk about sex, if that piece of fiction were never written. Don’t mention that Chelsey Handler is a bi product of this particular revolution. Lesson three: Go to comedy school to make your lesson lists funnier. Lesson four: Don’t follow penises around. Lesson five: Unless, of course, it’s Saturday night. In which case, everything is fair game. Lesson six: Only apply for scholarships for women. All other money is sexist. Lesson seven: Start dressing like a lumberjack!
Winter in the midwest calls for copious amounts of flannel. So I’m starting my collection with this little wonder. If I run out of time before I post this, you should be looking at a blurry picture of my neck and collar that I took with my ultra crappy netbook camera. Otherwise, you should be looking at a stellar high resolution shot that makes me look like an ultra slutty house cleaner. Me and the Mr. Clean man get. it. on.
At any rate, I got a flannel shirt. I also got a coat, but that’s for another post.
What do you love about flannel? Hello fashionable fashiony fashion blog readers! I’m back in the good ole U.S. of A. and like a slap to the face, no sooner did the plane land that I realized that it’s almost Christmas time. I know. Wtf? One minute you’re in the tropics, the next minute you need a holiday dress to wear to one of those awesome office Christmas parties. Such is life. So it’s time to get on Etsy and get some holiday inspiration and maybe invest in some overnight shipping. A Very Vintage Christmas
You have to love a sweet festive vintage find. You have to. It’s compulsory. If you don’t love a sweet festive vintage find, you’ll be put in time out until you think about what you’ve done. One of the reasons I love Etsy so much is that you can sift through vintage gems effortlessly. Unfortunately, investing in a dress like this ($225) will cost you more than it would if you did all of the legwork and you found a $2 vintage score at the Goodwill. Again, such is life. If I had the dough, I’d shell it out on something like this. So classy. So feminine. So sweet. Handmade Holiday Dresses
You can support an artison and get your style on at the same time this Christmas. If you want something hand made, you might want to start a few weeks in advance (oops) because most of the time, designers make it to order. This dress is only $150, which is a steal for a handmade garment. Plus, it’s cute as sin. Accessorize
Now that I have an outfit, maybe it’s time to start Christmas shopping for everyone else. Then after that, it's time to find some English teaching jobs abroad. My new year's resolution is to get out and see the world for awhile. Speaking of new years resolutions, our next post will undoubtedly be about new years eve dresses... What are you going to wear?
This week, forget that this is supposed to be a fashion blog. I’m sure you already forgot that anyway. I mean, I know I’m so fashionable that it’s just sick. I know you say, “You have so much style and grace, Corinne. How do you do it?” And I say, “It’s a gift. A glorious and completely true gift.” But just for this one day, forget that that’s the absolute, stone cold, honest to goodness truth. Forgetta ‘bout it. And then remember that I am ultimately a new world traveler. Not that I just plan on traveling the new world, I’m just really new at it. I’m pretty much a fetus on the backpacking scene. And my, let me tell you, it is a lovely, sweaty, amazing, stinky, enlightening, filthy scene. And I’m figuring it out as I go along. I’ve been in Panama for a little over a week now. Thank goodness, I’ve got a week left to go in this place because I’ve got so much more to see. But instead of getting out and seeing the sights in this amazing city, I wanted to stop on by and let you know something very important about travel clothing. It’s a long heavily guarded secret. Either it’s that or it’s not a secret at all. I’m pretty sleep deprived, so I’m not sure which one it is. But clothes. don’t. matter. You heard me right folks. You know, these things that I talk about at least once a week? They completely don’t matter. It’s pretty awesome for this girl, especially since I’m the kind of fashion blogger who posts about scummy day clothes. and..uh...... Sorry about that. I just got distracted for a minute there and lost my train of thought. You know why? Because international dudes rock scummy like it’s no body’s business. They’re all sporting beards and whatever wrinkled t-shirt they pull out of their backpacks and they do it so very well. Travel can turn a nerdy software engineer into a Bear Grillys. So, what was I saying? Oh yeah, that clothes don’t matter. So when I’m sitting here rocking these same shorts for the ? day, I didn’t even really notice. When I looked over at my “dirty clothes pile” I thought, it can go one more day. When I got dressed today I pondered, “who cares?” That is, until I remembered that I had a clothing blog to write. So I figured I’d let you know the secret to life. I’d like to take today to say something super important to you and that is this: Clothing is relitevely unimportant. Fashion doesn’t have much to do with living. But now that I think about it, I’d like you to continue to read this blog, so I’m going to go ahead and say... nevermind. Stay tuned next week, when I promise to have found something fashionable and/or relevant to talk about.  You know, that show Hoarders gives hoarders a bad name. How would you like it if someone came into your home and said, “these closet organizers are a detriment to your health,” and got all condescending with you before they busted in your bedroom like an FBI agent and took a sledge hammer to them? How would that feel? You can tell me. Trust me. I won’t judge you. I know it hurts. It’s okay. I know that organizer was from Crate and Barrel. I know it’s your favorite. I know the powder blue finish was a good touch. So unique. So unique. I know. Shhhh. Let it out. Shhhhh. Let it allllll out. Shhhhhhhhh. See, I got you! Sucker. I believe that we should really leave the hoarders alone. Some people believe that we should “free” Tibet. Some people believe that we should be able to go nude in public (you have to sit on those little towels though). Some people believe in 2012, Sasquatch, and that Herman Cain will be president. Now which one of these things is really crazier? Is it my belief that we should stop filming people who have a hard time letting stuff go and cleaning out their closets or is it that a sexual harassing pizza mogul is going to be the first republican black president? Who knows. I’m just saying that sometimes wonderful things can come from hoarding. Oh yeah, that was my point. I’m pretty bad about hoarding my clothes. I have a hard time letting stuff go. My post on scummy day clothes was proof. It can have so many holes in it that it’s completely see through. That doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s time to get the old heave-ho. Sometimes, this trait that keeps stuff in my closet is a hindrance. Moving is such a biotch. Picking out daily wears leads to massive heaps of clothing on the floor. People say things like, “Dude. You’ve had that since middle school.” And I say, “Still fits!” And they say, “But it has the Tasmanian Devil on it.” And I say, “Still fits!” And they say, “But you can see your nips.” And I say... Well, you get the point. But sometimes it’s a blessing. I’ve had this scarf forever and I’ve maybe worn it once. I found it today and now it’s pretty much my new favorite thing. Oh, man. That was a lot of random nonsense to get to the sentence that said... “I like this scarf I found in my own closet.” Got you again. Sucker. Just kidding. I love your sucker a**. So, what have you found in your closet lately? Isn't that dress fantastic?! It's $31... I know. And it's custom fitted. Go get one. I don’t know a single fashionista who doesn’t scour Etsy for ideas, accessories and inspiration. There’s something that is just so precious about the DIY online selling network. You can find items that are endlessly original (things that you would never find at Target) and they’re usually very reasonably priced. If you’re a creator, you can also sell your items on Etsy. It’s a pretty great online store for independent designers and creators. Not only do you get to be part of an instant market for your goods, you benefit from the viral factor. Many designers have found cult-like followings for their Etsy wares. At least once a month, I’m going to share some really amazing or unbelievably cheap cute things that I come across on Etsy. In the spirit of sharing, I think you should share your faves with me too. Just sayin’...Jennifer LillyJennifer Lilly sells her handmade dresses and vintage wears for super reasonable prices. I really like her lace vintage inspired dresses. This one mixes Victorian class with post-great depression sensibility and it’s just thirty five buckeroos.  This vintage boho sweater only costs twenty five bucks. All of her vintage stuff comes from a smoke and pet free home and ships clean, so you can wear it when it arrives.
 Zoe ChenZoe Chen has some of the cutest whimsical stuff around. I think it’d be perfect if you teach early childhood education. It’s sassy, but kids would love the crap out of it. Check out this super precious spider t-shirt. Can anyone say, next Halloween? It’s thirty two bucks, but that seems totally worth it for some reason. Viola’s BoutiqueThese infinity scarfs from Viola’s Boutique come in an infinite amount of color options and they’re only fourteen dollars a piece.The other scarves are okay, but these are super cute/impossibly cheap.  Alright, now it's your turn. What did you find on Etsy this week?  That’s right folks. It’s November and that can only mean one thing: it’s National Novel Writing Month! Now, if you’re like me, you’re an aspiring novelist (kinda) who forgot about National Novel Writing Month (this year and every year before it), but you really want to get your NaNoWriMo feet wet. So, let’s do it then. Get your thinking cap on, and get writing. Don’t be scared. This month is for people of all walks of life. You could have an ivy league degree. You could have gone to one of the best online colleges. You could have skipped out in 7th grade. If you have the desire to write a novel, this is your month. And who cares if it already began?I’m starting out late too, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to start without putting my best foot forward. I’m not talking about the words. I mean, no one said the words have to be good, they just said you have to get 50,000 of them onto the page. I’m talking about fashion! Stick with me, people. This is bound to make sense. What other chance do you have to dress like a novelist and say it’s because you are, in fact, a novelist? In Your Bed Desk  A ton of writers pen their best sellers in their beds, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re lounging around in their jammies. If you’re a fashionable young writer, you don’t have to look like a scumbag in order to be comfy. Before you dive into your bed and your first draft, throw on some stretchy pants and then layer to your content. This shirt from Free People is soft and amazing and these legwarmers from my childhood keep me super cozy while I’m doing the freezing task of chiseling away at the page. For Your NaNoWriMo Writing Session
 [Oooh, my mirror is smudgy]
You want to be comfy, sure. But now you’re out in public writing your novel. What if a cute fellow novelist were to happen to be in the vicinity? Toss on some black skinny jeans, a shirt dress and a flowing sweater. Minimize your accessories. A simple necklace and your glasses will do the trick.Those are just a few ideas. Hey, we’re going to be dressing like a writer all darn month. I’m sure we’ll come up with a few more ensembles. Can anyone say ascot? How does one end up with amazing H&M tights like the ones pictured below? Well, if you’re not ballsy enough to grab stuff like this on your own, bring your gay best friend with you on a trip to The Mall of America. Even though it’s stereotypical, it’s true. There are a few undeniable truths in life. One of them is that taking a gay man shopping is fun. Even your outdoorsy gay bestie will take your wardrobe to an immensely more fabulous albeit completely impractical place. When you spot the tights and start giggling over how ridiculous they are, he’ll swoop in behind you and plead for you to try them on. He’ll say things like, “If you don’t try them on, I will.” Once you comply and you show him how silly they are he’ll say, “If you don’t buy them, I will.”
When the closet competition starts, you can end up with some pretty wild and crazy things in your shopping bag. But it’s not all wacky tights and unwearable accessories. There’s more to having a gay best friend than exploiting their fashion merchandising skills. Your gay best friend will also double as your mother when you’re shopping. “Oh no, that coat isn’t going to be warm enough for this cold winter.” And he’ll be helpful as hell when you’re trying on jeans. Fit, color, style, size... your gay best friend is a better resource than this month’s Cosmo but he can cost you a little more. The average gay man charges one cosmo per hour or an overpriced scarf per shopping trip.I kid. You shouldn’t pay people to hang out with you. If you have to do that and you love to go shopping, you should just shell out the money and join a sorority. Ooooh, Kappa Kappa Burn! Get it? Sororities are just a place where you pay to have friends. I don’t have to pay for my friends because I sport my awesome tights like this...
 And this... And even like this...What a weirdo! Can you believe I got a date tonight? No, me either.
What do you think about my fantastic tights? | |
